Depression and My Sister's Birthday Outfit...

Hey Y’all

I know, I’m not country, but sometimes you just gotta say what you feel. Ugh, is anyone else having bad weather, here in Perth it’s rain, rain, rain, pour, pour, pour. It never stops, but I wanted to update you guys on my life.

So, this weekend it’s my sister’s birthday, you guys would remember me blogging about her in previous posts, and she is turning 16! Lol, makes me feel so old. Anyway, I appeared to have gained a few kilos and I am super worried that my dress won’t fit. It’s like the dress is hanging there in my closet mocking me, waiting for me to try it on…

Okay…maybe I’m being a little over dramatic, but I haven’t been feeling good lately, so I really want to put this dress on and feel so smoking not squeezed in. Anyway, I’m sure everyone has their insecurities…

**
Okay, I seriously want to post pictures in more detail, I mean I have so many outfits and accessories that I want to showcase, I mean I could probably have a new accessory everyday- but for some reason I seem to go up and down, up and down. I feel like I’m running away constantly for my mind and I have depression (and without going into too much detail) when you feel grey inside, (honestly inside even if the sun is shining) you really don’t feel like wearing any accessories. For the past few days my hair has been either unwashed and gross or washed, wavy, no makeup or rings, earrings- nothing. The only thing I never remove is my gold nugget chain. It was given to me by my Gran who passed away last year; I don’t like to take it off as I feel lost without it.

This was not supposed to be a depressing post, but seriously I feel like I’m forever trapped- I mean everyday is everyday, but not to me. Everyday is a constant battle to stay positive and run away from the dark clouds that form in my mind. Sometimes, even music makes me sadder, like there is no escape.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Anyway, enough of the dark stuff. I wanted to tell you what I am planning to wear this weekend, but the closer this weekend gets, the more I feel I’m going to look like total crap. My skin has been out of control lately and work has been blah. Sleep has been even worse. But I was looking through a blog which I love to bits- http://stephienese.blogspot.com and I couldn’t help but get inspired to play with my makeup and clothes and jewellery lol.

I think everyone gets like that especially me and especially when I’m at work. I mean I am very imaginative girl and my imagination runs away with me. I remember this beautiful blonde customer I served when I was sixteen, she smelt like Fantasy by Britney Spears and she was so gorgeous I wanted to be blonde (which even though I will forever want to do- I’m chicken and it will never suit me). But she made me feel like I could go home and be as beautiful as she is, the same with Lana in Smallville, I thought when I was her age I would look better, and I do…but you know I just seem to have these constant days where I feel what am I doing? What is wrong with me? And, to make it worse, my dad repeats that to me everytime I break down…so what to do, what to do?

*~*~*~*~*~

Okay, so this dress I wore in my birthday post, it’s pink of course, the shoes are the same, but the makeup will probably be a nice brown smokey eye with a beautiful soft glossy pink lip. I can’t wait; I hope my sister likes her present. To give you an idea of the same look, here is a photo from my 19th Birthday this year in January:

Peace out and drop a little love xx